Last night my 5 year old son and I went to a local art auction in the church near our home. It was a fund raiser for his new school. I know absolutely nothing about art, but I figured I might be able to get an interesting birthday gift for my wife and support a good cause at the same time. I've never been to an art auction before but I've seen plenty on tv.
The ones with the snobby rich people who use various hand signals to let the auctioneer know they were bidding on an item. Signals such as an ear tug or nose touch. I thought to myself I better not scratch my nose or adjust my crotch while I'm in there. I might end up coming home with a painting of an ostrich or something of that nature. My wife would not be thrilled at all. The auction was pretty cool though.
They had some free food there for everyone to help themselves to. My son and I filled a small dish with a load of salami and crackers. He's only 5 but he must've ate about a pound of salami that evening. The auction was a little different than what I expected. It wasn't filled with snobby rich people at all. There were many familiar faces in the crowd. A couple parents that I knew from my sons school were there too. It was a pretty comfortable setting. All the art pieces were from local artists in the area. No one I've ever heard of but there were some interesting items.
My favorite was a sculpture of three monkeys. One had his hand covering his ears. The next one had his hand covering his eyes and the last was covering his mouth. I guess it represented the whole" hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil" idea. They were really cool monkeys. I tried to win them but I backed off at forty dollars. I don't think my wife would've liked them anyway. It was more of a gift for me. I ended up winning a painting of two angels playing a harp. A little too romantic for me but I knew my wife was gonna love it.
She has the entire bathroom decorated with angels everywhere from the shower curtain to the hand soap dispenser. Last year my son and I came home with a "Pirates Of The Caribbean" shower curtain and matching bath rug for our bathroom. What were we thinking? She almost threw me and our son out of the house that evening. Some things just aren't worth "arrgh"-uing for. Well that wasn't gonna happen this time. My son and I did a great job picking out the perfect gift for Mommy. There was no way she could not like this painting of two angels in heaven. I'm gonna tell her it signifies our love for one another and how our lives play out together like beautiful music from the heavens.
I don't know if she's gonna buy it but it can't be as bad as the shower curtain attempt.
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Jeigh Gorey is a part time humor write and vice president of www.myEzFundraising.com. Learn how to run your own art raffle fundraiser.